FutureCrüe

so on wednesday, i went in for laparoscopic inguinal hernia surgery.

honestly, before all this happened, i didn’t even really know what a hernia was. it turns out there are many types of hernias and nobody really talks about them. so i will.

what i had

indirect inguinal hernia. i think this might be the most common kind. it occurs at the groin in the deep inguinal internal ring.  what does that even mean? for me, it means i had a bulge in the left side of my groin. it was located above (but not affecting) my “junk” in the “v” like section of my groin. so it was like a swollen-like bulge in that flat area of my “curlies”.  too much? ha!!  i know, right?

while some peoples don’t hurt, mine did. it was like a dull pain all day long and sometimes it would throb. and a couple of times, it really made my balls ache!!  not cool!! and worst of all, i could not do all the things i like to do, like ride my bike, play volleyball, run or play street hockey. and i tried but it would burn like someone put a nail in my groin…right in that “v” section.

too much??  :)

it gets better!!   the bulge was my intestines kinda poking through a weakened area of my abdominal wall!! and i could push it back in and it would come back out!!  gross right?  it hurt to cough, sneeze or laugh. i could feel it pop in and out and that stung a little bit (i mean it hurt bad).

surgery

i had to get mine fixed. plus, i think the intestine can become strangulated and cause real emergency and lasting problems. so i did not mess around and got it taken care of.

the experience??  what a breeze!!!  i now have three new holes in my body. all of which above or right at my boxer waist line.

it was a day surgery procedure. they pump my abdomen full of gas and make these small incisions and do all the work. the gas gives them a pocket of air that they can move around in with their tools and camera. yes, they had a camera under my skin!! they pushed everything back in place and stapled in a patch. kinda like a patch you would put on a tire. at least in concept.

they wanted to give me valium before i went to surgery to calm me down. but i’m a calm non-panic type of guy and so they didn’t. i guess some people get anxious when getting hooked up for surgery. and they put a mask over you and ask you to breathe. i think people could panic at that point in the same way people that scuba dive for the first time might have to get used to breathing in a mask and not freak out.

i thought it was actually pretty cool and the amount of equipment and stuff they had was awesome!!! the room was very cold but they put some warm blankets on me and all was good. the knocked me out and the next thing i could hear was them waking me up.

recovery

what a simple operation. i was sitting up and on my feet within minutes of waking up from surgery. i was hungry too. they checked me out very quickly (~30 minutes) cause i was very alert and not out of it. went out for burgers and fries within 1.5 hours of waking up. i was not sick or nauseated. of course i ate small portions cause i didn’t want my abdomen to bulge and cause pain. so i was cautious or maybe a little scared. it tasted good. i was hungry and did not want light foods or soup.  bah.  i’m a man. i need food!! :)  i did not restrict my diet at all except maybe in portion size.

i did a few things on my laptop that day for work. i was not tired and did not sleep. the next day, i returned to work. i wanted to go into the office, but i was not allowed to shower yet so i was kinda stinky. so i worked from home the full day (and maybe a little more even).  my stomach was all orange like fake spray tan. and i have three incisions that have heavy duty tape over them.  kinda cool actually. my stomach was very bulged out from whatever they did.  so i had this fake spray tan beer gut. maybe a new look this year for men?  ha!!!! i woulda taken pics but it was actually kinda just gross.

the next day, i fully returned to work and took the train down town and worked all day. not no where near myself but i can function enough to get shit done and get around fine.

they gave me a prescription for 80 vikoden but i have not taken any. i took a few advil and i think the worst is already over after 48 hours. my throat was sore from the breathing tube they had in me. i cant even really see where the iv was in my hand. overall, i heard nightmare stories, but the reality was no where near the kind of stories i heard.

so that is it. the story of my surgery. i cant wait to get back to all the things i like to do and i feel great to have this behind me. and in the end, it turns out to be not such a big deal.